
When Dr. Fitzgerald spoke at a commencement before her death, she urged the graduates to not be passive about life. "I challenge you to live," she said. "The only thing that matters is: Did you live? Do you really live? Did you make a choice?"
An author and a writer's take on life and the writing process. I'll add stories that are in my mind & writing tips & links.
Lucy, a short, gray haired lady, wearing a full-length black wool coat, limped up the steep incline with hesitation. She glanced up a couple of times to see if anyone watched her slow approach. At the first group of items, she stooped down to gaze at a framed painting of a passenger ship bucking against high waves. In the image, a small craft approached perhaps to steer the vessel away from jagged rocks beneath the ocean's surface.
I noticed Lucy wrench. Had she lost someone at sea, perhaps a father, a child or a friend?
She shuffled inside the garage, stopping at different tables exhibiting jewelry, clothing, books & more. After fifteen minutes or so, she selected a small, blue & green trivet & brought it to me.
"For my daughter. She likes things like this."
I asked her if she lived nearby.
Lucy's gazed up at me. "No. Visiting from
"Anybody can do anything," I said.
"Not me."
I placed the trivet into a plastic sack & handed it to her.
"Fraid all I'm going to do is . . . just die." Lucy hobbled down the driveway.
Grabbing my crutch, I sidled up beside her. "Hey, don't give up on life now. Okay."
Her bright green eyes sparkled in the late afternoon sun. "How much is a house in this neighborhood?" she asked.
As I gave her estimates, she smiled at me. "Might be able to do that."
"Why not?" I asked touching her shoulder.
Lucy turned, but I heard her say as she shuffled away. "Yeah, why not?"
# # #
The stories that many of the shoppers & others reveal to me everyday, real or not, swirl in my mind. At times, I wished they'd go away, but I know they have helped me survive traumatic events in my life. Today, I embrace them. They're part of me.
"DEAD FLIES"
© by J. N. Sander
Two more minutes have passed since I pushed the black call button on my bed. I watch the big hand on the clock above the doorway to the hall, move from one little mark to the next little mark. It snaps each time like someone flicking dead flies off a table. It's not the first time I've thought of dead flies today.
There are fourteen patients in our room with white folding screens between us. On the oatmeal-colored wall above me are two pictures. One's a naked baby crying. The other is a smiling little girl about my age, in a pale-yellow dress dragging a brown teddy bear. She's opening a tall blue door. I think she's happy because she can leave.
This morning when they pulled a gurney past my bed with two-year-old Suzy under a thin white sheet, I didn't react. I didn't cry. I just stared at the gurney and listened to the squeaky wheels as it passed through the hall door. I thought of dead flies.
It's getting dark outside. Earlier, large snowflakes fluttered past the window across from me. Now the wind's blowing grey-white swirls against the glass. It makes me shiver and I pull my blanket tight around my neck.
(Skipping lots here.)
Every time they push my wheelchair down the hall, I gaze into the box room. It looks the same as ours except there are no windows or pictures. Long metal boxes sit off the floor about as tall as I am. They make loud sucking sounds. Children lay on their backs inside with only their heads sticking out. One girl has been in a box for a long time. Her dark-brown hair has grown so long it falls to the floor.
(Skipping.)
Crying is not allowed on the sixth floor. If we complain, cry, or wet our beds we go into the closet. Or into a box next door.
(Skipping again.)
The closet door is open. I see cleaning supplies, wheelchairs, crutches, trash and a bag full of dirty linens. I've stayed in there three nights in the last few months, with the door shut and lights turned off. Two times because I cried and I don't know why the other time. It smells terrible.
(Skipping lots.)
I'm hoping to publish this story, so can't share the whole
enchilada. Having Polio was a terrible experience, but at the same time, I know it helped me to develop into who I am today. Good or bad!
That's it for today.
Happy fall and have a scary Halloween.